welcome James. and your post was very honest. I'll tell ya, alcohol will take away your life after it takes your material possessions. you still have both, which could be a huge motivator. this AA thing might seem uncomfortable but you can start by reading the Big Book online. it will tell you about your personal freedom of experiencing a higher power. in full disclosure, I read the book and spend like 4 hours a day here educating myself and interacting with others. it's the most wonderful place i've ever been. do you feel like you are powerless over alcohol? you don't have to answer here if you don't want to but it is a question you will need to face no matter what you do. welcome!