There is a solution, you just haven't found it yet, James. You can do this. Hey, I was skeptical of AA, but still found it helpful. Wasn't much for the "churchy" aspect of it, but put those concerns behind me because I really needed to focus on getting sober and hard as I tried, I could not do it myself. I was powerless over alcohol, once I took that first drink. Today, I'm happy and sober. Just for the record, I got sober in AA, but haven't attended a meeting in over 6 years. Sometimes we just need a bit of structure to set us on the right path. There are other programs other than AA that may appeal to you. It sounds like you are on the right path and ready to make some changes. Coming to that rationalization is key! Welcome and my best to you!