I used to drink pretty heavy for many years. About 4 years ago I tapered off to once every 3-4 weeks. And for a while I thought I could manage it but I realized that continuing to drink just kept me from moving forward. My BF of 4+ years doesn't believe I have a drinking problem (he wasn't around back then). He thinks I'm just a lightweight (hardly). So I really didn't have anyone around me telling me I needed to stop drinking. I still had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol even if I wasn't your "typical" alcoholic anymore though. It was like I was still punishing myself for having a heavy drinking problem all those years before by continuing to drink. WEIRD. It was really weird. I finally just said THAT'S IT! I have a life! What the hell am I doing?!?!
Hopefully you've gotten to your THAT'S IT! moment - it sure sounds like you have. You've definitely stumbled upon a great resource here at SR. If you don't care for AA there are several other programs you can look into. I have chosen the AVRT method.
Glad you're here!