Thanks for the info. It all helps. I think it's true abut romanticizing drinking too much. I do play the tape through and it's not pretty. Yesterday I reached a major milestone in my business that I would never have had a snow balls change in HELL of getting to if I was still a drunk.
Relatively speaking life is a joy. But I am missing some things obviously or I would not feel so conflicted. I'm working on it. Don't give up on me!
I had this dream a few nights ago that I drank. And in the dream I kept dreaming it was the next morning and I felt sooooo guilty and ashamed like I had thrown something so precious away. I was feeling bad in my dreams about drinking. wow. That's how I know I should not drink. My subconscious mind telling me that. How much crazy damage that would do to me.
I'm working on it.