(((Fitz))) - I admit, you had me worried for a minute, until I read down further. I've come SERIOUSLY close to using a few times, oddly enough my cat Elvis helped me one time with the "mmoooooommmm, don't LEAVE me!!" look and it registered enough to take a deep breath, get on SR.
I've gotten quite used to you posting every day. I know the PTSD and depression is tough, but there are a lot of people here who care about you and will help if they can.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy