((((Choublak))) - I am not only an RA, I have loved ones who are A's, and happen to live with one (stepmom) along with my dad who is a first class enabler.
I tried to share my ES&H, what I've learned, but most of the time it's met with denial.
Yes, sometimes we DO take someone else's problem as our own. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts in every color
What I've finally come to accept (MOST of the time..I still slip) is some people just can't HEAR what I'm saying. They'd rather complain, blaim, deny etc. The best I can do? Take care of me, regarldess of what the people I love do
So far, it seems that I've made very progress, but I have heard my dad repeat things that I've shared with him, and it's like he's on the cusp of getting it.
My codie recovery has been FAR harder than my addiction one. I make some progress, I slip, and I slide. I come here to get re-grounded. If there's anything I've learned? It's not take what an A says as the truth...sting? Okay for a little bit. THey're in their own world, just as I was.
Keep the focus on you..try to let A's words slide off your back. You're not wrong abuout learning about addiction, IMO, you just hit a nerve...that's THEIR problem.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy