I was never a social being. I had a huge collection of Koala Bears when I was younger. Not only are they cute, but they hate people, too. I fit right in with them.
In early recovery, I did go to AA meetings. They're the only meetings I could find around here. I found someone to guide me through the steps and something happened. I began having true compassion for other people. Today, I have a group of friends to talk to, get a cup of coffee with, go rafting (so out of my character, but I did it--in a bathing suit), bowling, movies. Yeah, some of these cost a little money, some were "gifted" to me so I didn't have to pay anything on my almost non-existent funds. I haven't gone without food and all of my bills keep getting paid and I have some funds to do things with. And I am still seeking employment. That's sobriety.
The meetings helped me to talk one on one, coffee gatherings helped me in small groups, speaking helped me in larger groups. We are there to help each other in our recovery from this thing we call alcoholism. See, alcohol was my solution for many years. I created bad habits. Today, I am turning this around and learning to create better habits.
I enjoy people today. Who knew I really liked people, I just didn't like myself and projected that on to others?? This includes lack of trust. If I can't trust me, how can I trust you? I turned this around, too.
A lot of people I know limit their activities with others. My social calendar is not full, but it is full enough today.
I don't speak for you, but you never know what's good for you until you try it. The steps are my new solution. I can be alone if I choose or I can be with people.
My life has a new balance. Really, people aren't meant to live a life of solitude constantly....
At home, I have several projects I am doing. Painting, organizing everything again, crafts, home decorating on a $ store budget (hey, I can make that stuff look okay!), exercising, meditating, reading with a clear mind, cooking. I don't spend all of my time with other people. Life is a balancing act! One without deception, delusion, or total isolation.
I wish you well in your sober journey!