Amends questions
I've been going to AA with regularity and despite had a few slips feel like I'm really working through my "stuff." I've gotten to the stage where I realize I'll probably be in the "making amends" process fairly soon.
My question is this: I was in a relationship where I hurt the person deeply. Cheating, lying, etc. After we split we exchanged a few emails and at one point agreed to meet for coffee. My intention was to apologize and let her vent at me. At the last moment, she backed off and said she couldn't reengage because it would stir up too much negativity. This was a year ago and I never answered her "I can't meet email". Does anyone have advice about how to handle this? I don't want to violate her boundary but it seems like a gaping hole to leave her off my list of people to apologize to. A letter maybe? That way if she wants to not open it she can?
I assume this happens to others and that there is a way to handle making amends/taking ownership in a respectful, non provocative way?
Thanks for taking the time to read.