Hi all,
We purposley took some time out to make a reply here. We have digested what's been said and have had time to consider it all. Firstly, let me say that apart from any pain we have gone through or will go through, we realize what pain you all must be feeling when you have to print what you feel and the pain you must have gone through yourselves, whatever side you're on.
You are all remarkable , and individual, and we can only express gratitude and appreciation for what we have learned from reading your posts, reading between the lines, and being able to come to our own conclusions.
For us, the story so far....
We have a teenager with serious problems and searched the internet until we found a site that had the bottom-line support we needed.
While there we read many posts, from those with their own problems and from those trying to deal with other peoples problems. We placed a post and got many replies, none of them telling what to do, all of them offering a different perspective.
We never knew there was such a place as this.
Since posting here we have:
got more honest perspective on both sides
know that when you are dealing with "the beast", the love is still in there
have learned the emphisis is not on blame but on the ultimate goal
have been able to decide on a strategy that suits us, going forward.
I thought I was not judgemental, now I know what judgemental means
We can love her now, without the "blame" element
we are more considerate of eachother, (touchy, feely, makes me smile, though!)
we look for ways to do something like this ourselves (you're a wonderful community, maybe we could do this over here!)
we looked in our bathroom! It's full of things belonging to my wife, my son,
and me. Our daughter is in her haze, her mark is not felt in our family really, (reality bites)!
We hope we have'nt wasted you're time by telling what we got from you're ramblings, you're truthful exchanges, you're down to earth replies, and you're obvious consideration for other people. We got something from this, and God bless every one of you.
"Hugs" and "Thanks" are way under-rated.
So, "Thanks", you!
S.
PS. Can't help a bit of "Irish" humour!
Two Irishmen wake up in bed together. "Well that was one great wife-swapping party, was'nt it?"! one says to the other.