Daughter in Denial--or maybe I'm wrong???
I have a 29 year old daughter who I believe is an alcoholic, but of course when I approach her she has every excuse in the world.
Let me try to give a little background info. She got pregnant her senior year in high school and had the baby. Did not stay with the father, but the father's parents were very involved. Involved to the point that she would let them watch the baby so she could go out and party. She was a lousy mother to this child. In her eyes--she was fine. But it was very rough those first years of my grandson's life. She started college, but dropped out. Used the excuse that she just didn't fit in--her having a baby and all. She started working at Hooter's and in my opinion that's where it all started to go in the crapper for her.
She stayed out all hours of the night--never let us know where she was--sometimes wouldn't come home until the next day. She would blow money on clothes, makeup, etc. She even went out a had a breast augmentation. Which started her bad credit histroy. She would even lie to us about out of town trips--saying she had to go do some training in another state--when in reality she was with a guy. She tried college one more time--but she dropped out again--this the ladies at the medical office where she had to do here clinicals were "mean" to her. I could go on and on, but hopefully you can get an idea of the situation.
After several years of this, she started dating a guy that I do like. He is/was a musician. She became pregnant again and the two moved in together. They do have a farily stable life--he works a "real" job now and they did buy a house. The problem is they both drink, they drink all the time. I've never been with them when they were not drinking. Believe me I am not blaming him for my daughter's drinking. But drinking is very important to the both of them.
Back to my daughter--she works part time for my neighbor--who happens to be an alcoholic. She comes to my house about once a week to work for him. Usually late in the afternoon. She leaves her daughter here with us and goes over there for hours. When she comes back she reeks of alcohol. I don't think she gets alot of work done--I think the two do more drinking than working.
She usually spends the night with me on those nights--basically too drunk to drive home. When I found three empty booze bottles in my spare bedroom dressser, that's when I finally decided to approach her about it. She got mad and said I was crazy. Just laughed it off.
Since then I have decided to question my four year old granddaughter. I am trying to do it very innocently--asking her what her and mommy do during the day. It seems that she gets up in the mornings and mommy stays in bed. I asked her what they eat and drink for lunch. She told me mommy drinks Red Bull and white stuff. My daughter does nothing during the day--her house is a mess--she never finishes anything. I believe she just drinks all day long.
It's gotten to the point that she smells of booze all the time. When I ask about it--she get's mad and says she has not been drinking. Do alcoholics always smell, even if they have not been drinking? I'm so fearful that her health is in danger now. She doesn't have regular periods. She complains about not feeling good all the time--could she be getting sick because on the days she doesn't drink she's having withdrawal symptoms?
Our last big blow up was last night--she had to go to traffic court to straighten up a matter over an expired registration. She smelled horribly of alcohol. I told her in a very matter of fact way, that I didn't think it would be a good idea to go in front of a judge smelling like that--and she blew up and said she had not been drinking.
Am I wrong--is there a possibility that she is NOT an alcoholic? She get's angry and claims that I am not around her all the time--just that when she is around me--usually working next store--that she had a few beers with our neighbor while she was working. But the fact is--I smell it on her and her fiance everytime I am with them--my grandson's ball games, etc.
I know I have rambled and rambled--but it's very difficult to explain the whole situation in one post.
What do I do? Al-Anon? Counseling?