I used to say death was my goal too suic - until I nearly did die.
That tends to sort the BS out pretty quick.
I bet Jim Morrison didn't want to die at 27.
You're not a worthless failure - you're exactly like I and I bet everyone in this thread was - you're on the fence between 'geez, I need to quit this crap' and 'oh I'm not really that bad'
you need to decide which side you want to be on...I know it's terrifying but keeping on in your life the way it is now is not going to get any better.
You really are better off acting sooner than later.
D