Newbie climbing aboard
Dear friends,
Last Monday, I drank all night. At midnight, I wound up on the bathroom floor, clinging to the toilet, being sick as a dog. Passed out in bed and spent the next day basically sleeping it off. I managed to wrench my back with all my drunken flailing, so that's just an additional bonus to the self-loathing I'm feeling right now. I live alone and drink alone most of the time. I am now 3 days sober and heading to AA tonight. I am feeling such depression, panic and self-hatred right now, and am really foggy in the head. I know this is a result of my drinking and poisoning myself. I'm probably lucky to be alive.
I give up...I cannot handle alcohol in any way, shape or form. I need help. I need a slap upside the head. I need a hug.