New here, help needed....
I'm doing so so well I need some super help to resist temptation this weekend.
I'm Day 23 sober after drinking heavily nightly for 18 months. I was always a heavy social drinker but kept it to the weekends until my beloved mum died nearly 3 years ago. I drank heavily 5 nights a week till I fell pregnant, went cold turkey for 15 months while pregnant and nursing and from there it was a nightly thing as I was a stay at home mum and sooooooo bored! I got to the point where I would drink 6 beers before dinner and a bottle of wine with dinner till it was gone (only happily buzzed on this amount). I tried to stop and moderate for 6 months before I realized I couldn't and now I have been stopped for 3 weeks it's only with a clear head I realize how bad I was. I had no severe withdrawals but irritability, headaches and nausea in the first week. I really don't want to ever do week 1 again!
Anyway my problem now is I'm returning to my home town (2hr flight away) for a wedding this Saturday. I will have no husband, no kids, be around ALL my best friends who are letting loose! All this I could probably handle as if I'm having a good time it's easier to resist alcohol than if I'm not. The biggest issue is that the wedding is on a beach that my mum and I walked on ALL the time and the reception is at a restaurant at that beach where my mum and I shared a million coffees and lunches. I'm scared the raw grief will drive me to numb it with a drink as that is how I dealt with it in the beginning.
Also my alcy voice is telling me 'you've done a month off now, your fine'. I'm starting to believe it but deep down I know that things can't be different! Ive never been able to stop at 2 even before i relized i had a problem. The longest I've done before was 3 weeks, I thought I'd be fine but after 1 bottle of wine I had a massive blackout and experienced the worst hangover ever when usually I don't get them. I could'nt believe my tolerance had dropped so much, then after that 1 bottle it took me another 6 weeks of daily drinking before I stopped again on the 30th Jan 2012, here I am.
Any advice would be greatfully appreciated. I've been to a handful of AA meetings, belong to an online support group for alcy mums and just joined here today. This forum seems much more busy and I like the input of men and all ages.
Thanx in advance. xo