" I almost lost her because of my inability to pull my head out of my butt and realize what I had."
This is what I'm afraid of. None of my other relationships were drama, just the XABF, and I'd usually last 2-5 years in these healthy relationships before sabotaging.
As far as taking a road trip, camping, etc., I've known him for 12 years and we've done all of these things together +100 others 100x over. We've shared cabins, Hamptons houses, 10-day road trips, tents, etc. We never got on each other's nerves.
It's funny how drama junkies twist reality to suit their sick needs. My family has been pushing me to marry him for years, and I've come up with every excuse in the book, including my personal favorite, "He's rich and preppy, and I'm a starving artist/poet. I don't want to be rich and shallow, that's not me." Duh! He's anything but shallow, he worked hard and smart for what he earned and there's no shame in that. Just because he's a finance guy and not some hip, artsy, activist type who's dark and brooding...lol.
I've outgrown that mentality. That fear of ending up like one of the Real Housewives of X. He's not that guy at all, he's humble, and I'm not that girl who's going to run out and get a boob job/fight with fellow rich housewives about things that don't matter.
The real crux of that excuse is I think I've always been afraid to grow up! That's why I ran so far from him knowing how great our life would be together, and came up with every ridiculous excuse in the book to keep running.
My head is out of my a** finally! My therapist even said to me a while back, "it's OK to grow up." I've done all of the things I wanted to do before settling down and then some! I deserve a nice life with a great guy. I think I'm ready for BORING! Not to say there won't be those times where I get that itch...lol.