I guess I can do this without rehab, but it sure doesn't feel that way. I mean I've probably said internally that I quit on my own probably thousands of times now and continue to pick up a drink and delude myself that I control it. I can't, I mean I know that, anyone who knows me knows I'm an alcoholic. Ug. Tomorrow I'm seeing a psychiatrist fort the first time in nearly a year and I'm worried that if I tell him I'm an alcoholic he'll be reluctant to give me the anxiety medication I need to function and just tell me my problem is alcohol. Yes, my problem is alcohol but in addition to that I have an anxiety disorder that drove me to drinking in the first place. 12 years later, I'm a damn drunk but I need treatment for this illness as well as my alcoholism. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping to be on here more often, because I need to remind myself that I'm not alone in this fight and that I'm my own worst enemy.