Ack!
I am so aggravated today its unbelievable. I'm probably two weeks into a massive drinking binge with a day or two of rest scattered here or there. About a month ago I was going to AA meetings but of course I never got a sponsor and I didn't have any thing like a support system.
I have to say its extremely difficult to recover when you're surrounded by heavy drinkers as I have been most of my adult life. Its just that, try as I may to resist them, I sometimes give in to my urge to drink. This could be lessened if there was no alcohol in my house, but there is always some and it is offered to me regularly.
I'm starting to think I need to find a sober living situation. I have resisted the idea in the past, but I don't think I'll ever achieve any lasting sobriety if I'm surrounded by booze during the initial stages of recovery. I guess what I'm asking is, is it necessary for some people to go through a rehabilitation program to achieve sobriety? I've been at this for years now and I just keep failing. Of course I tell people about my problems and most of them think I'm exaggerating, and eventually I let myself go and give in again. I've mentioned rehab a few times, but I've been literally laughed at by AAs who probably doubt I've hit rock-bottom, by pyschiatrists and by family members. I'm starting to wonder if it would take death for people to realize drinking is ruining my life.
Of crouse, despite being a good graduate student, I'm unemployed and have a crappy credit history, so it's difficult for me to find the funding to even move out of my parent's house at this point. What the hell - beyond going to AA meetings, should I do?