Hello ash, you will receive more responses tomorrow, but I want to welcome you to SR and to encourage you to take care of your children and let your AH take care of his disease. He has been in rehab and he knows help is available to him and that recovery is possible. His help will come from recovering addicts and drug counselors, it cannot come from you. Your job is to take care of your children, not your husband's addiction.
Please do not despair, as relapse is common with drug addicts but many can get back on track and accumulate clean days and months and years again. If he truly wants this, he knows where to go for help.
Most important of all, do not enable his addiction, do not rescue him in any way from the consequences of drug abuse, unless you find him in overdose and need to call an ambulance. Otherwise, whatever crises his addiction creates must be dealt with by him, not you.
It would be wonderful if you could ask family members for help for you and your children in this time, if possible. But if they do not understand addiction and cannot support your decision not to enable your husband, they will not be of real help.
Did you find recovery yourself when he was in treatment before? Did you find a support group for families of addicts? Did you get help from a counselor? To be alone with addiction is just too hard, you will suffer from isolation and confusion and possibly manipulation by the addict. Please do not be alone, as it will hurt you and what hurts you hurts your children.
I'm sorry for all you have lost thus far. It has been devastating, I'm sure. Everyone here has lost so much due to addiction and gone through terrible times of crisis. But we got help, got recovery for ourselves, and we got better and our lives got better.
We could not have done it alone, though. Addiction is too powerful and it creates in us thinking and behaviors which are irrational and destructive.
You are not alone. There are so many who have been where you are, and when you reach out for them, they will listen.
I hope this is a better week for you, and that both you and your husband put together your own treatments plans, separately but with the same goal: a healthy life for your family.
Wishing you all the best this night. Please post as much as you need. There is much experience here from people who have been in recovery for decades.