scottish1981- I'm actually in the states, I don't get to watch much or know too many specifics but I'm a Chelsea FC fan. I really really want to get over there, a very good friend lives in Glasgow. Also I really want to see the Linlithgow palace, that's so awesome to live where that is and so much else. Not drinking while watching, that's quite impressive, good for you!
Dmr42- Hello and welcome, always a tough day-glad you're here.
I drank myself to sleep as well, and after awhile I was barely even sleeping then. It did take some time, and I'm not sleeping like I'd dream of (then again had insomnia since i was a kid so yeah) but I am definitely sleeping better then I was the last year+ of drinking. It gets better, it really does.
TriGirl- Oh I understand that, but it's not real...that's what I tell myself. I'm lucky that I CAN isolate how I am, no significant other, kids, or obligations except to show up to work (which I barely am working er....) and class. It was next to impossible for me prior when I was going out/with people...b/c I felt the need to be "on". I try to remind myself (super depressed today) that it's just going to hit that much harder when it wears off, but it's super difficult for sure. (that's an understatement)
The other day I had some sips of wine, and I kept my count up- but i had asked the same sort of thing.
And good lord, I still haven't begun to wrap my head of the "never drinking again" but I do know that one glass won't stifle the urge now (love to have one no doubt) and the risk is too great...though i am really struggling to not have one.
HF- So stoked for you to hear such positivity. Maybe that's why I feel more depressed then usual, but I think a LOT of that is facing the reality of the mess of my life I've made (i mean the dieting increasing depression. then again I know well enough about nutrition to know it definitely can cause mood swings, I just feel I ought to be used to it, heh. I didn't however take it into account it would make the craving to drink intensified...not that I'm willing to eat anymore then I am, but that is good to know)
EternalQ- I myself am quite the expert in the fine (hahaHA) art of self-destruction. Shame that doesn't work on a resume
I really like the point you made, if we're doing this, that opens the floor to so many other things!!
Wildat16- What a great post to read, I am hopeful to see more from him soon myself as I know we all are.
kam00096- Heck yeah!
lilac0721- It's a constant up and down and we're all here to help each other.
BoozeFree- Congrats on the great week-end. I am the total opposite my father (though I live with them. life failure 201, heh) and I...it's stressful. I however am attempting to change my own oil, things like that make him feel he accomplished something w/car upkeep haha.
rochele- Having drinks that night before, no matter how much you know you want to not drink is definitely going to increase the desire the next night--I get that.
I can only imagine how difficult that is when the husband drinks. Both of the bet relationships I had, that was the nail in the coffin. One would/did support me by not drinking (well not around me, i told him--hey it's not you w/the problem go out and have some fun etc) but the other has a drinking issue himself. It got really complicated when it kinda came down to the ultimatum kinda-- ok you can't drink/but I can. That didn't pan out well.
But this is your husband and that's another ball game. I just, I can get the fact the other person can still drink, but it gets dicier when they're are plausible issues w/his relationship w/alcohol too. Dead on, if someone could stop for someone else...I would have done so in 2009 for sure.
Eh, I think I'm having some sort of identity crisis. I don't know how the heck I even AM anymore, I became the summation of my "issues". I never meant to play the damsel in distress role, and it's one I nearly made my identity. Men coming in to "save me from myself" while I based my self-worth entirely on them/being desired, god knows what else. Relationships fell apart, I was in an abusive one, I got really bad off w/drugs...and have been steadfastly running from reality and now I just feel lost.
Wow, what a depressing post, sorry you all.
(i'm ashamed I became so lost in that, that I let myself seem that weak, that I did what I've done and so so many things. I feel so lost and disgusted w/my behavior and it's overwhelming)