lesliej, I was in several drug-abusive relationships back to back and each time I left a little piece of me returned everyday. It was like having a honeymoom with myself. Things got better for me on every front.
Too often, these weak souls would beg for my forgiveness/want me back/they are clean/ made champagne promises. I went back and was instantly deflated. They got me back to their level. Misery loves company. By the time I was 40 I outgrew the need for male company, mainly because the talent as I see it, on any level, is pathetic.
I don't suffer fools anymore. I am worth more than that and I deserve better. Keep telling yourself that.
Hugs.