Mom is gone. After a VERY trying weekend, I am SO grateful that I made it! And if I can handle everything that came my way THIS weekend without drinking, then I think I have a pretty good start on this!
I noticed that, while dealing with all of the mom crap, I was much calmer and more in control of myself than in the past. I didn't let all of my guilt/self-loathing take over and turn me into a 13 year old again. I KNEW that I hadn't done anything wrong, that I didn't deserve her anger, and that her behavior was a result of her own mental health issues and really couldn't be blamed on either of us.
Then, when I did my run this morning with a friend, I suddenly noticed that I never got that second wind that always used to come as the last of the alcohol left my system. But I also realized that I was keeping up with her easily from the start, feeling great, and hadn't had to be miserable all morning getting there.
Finally, I was helping hubby load some stuff in the van. He reached for a big blanket to cover something, and my heart stopped. He was inches from one of my hiding spots for honey whiskey that I would slug in the middle of the night to stop the shaking and paranoia/anxiety after too much wine. Suddenly, I realized that there was nothing there! It's all gone! I have nothing to hide.
How are all of you this morning? Rochele - I'm proud of you for all of your insights and for picking up and starting again. Lilac and EternalQ - hang in there! You've got this!!! Orbea - how's the kiddo today?