The only person responsible for holding me accountable after I got out of rehab was/still is me. I was 28, a single mother of a young daughter, and had to merge into life with no "buffer" such as sober living. I didn't have that luxury.
I wanted recovery
more than anything else in this world.
Were those early years in recovery tough? Absolutely. However despite the stresses of every day life plus a lot of crisis thrown in, I stayed clean/sober for four years.
In looking back, I spent about 3 months setting myself up for that fall. I am grateful today that I was only "out there" two months and got my butt back into active recovery.
I was the one responsible for dragging my sorry carcass back up that long flight of stairs to my AA home group. The people in that room had loved me enough to let me fall, and they stayed out of the way. I have no doubt there were prayers for me during my period of returning to active addiction/alcoholism.
Anyone who thinks an addict can't possibly stay clean/sober without support from family (including significant others) is wrong because I am living proof that recovery
is possible without those people. I had brought immense pain and suffering upon my parents and brother. My AH at the time had returned to active addiction/alcoholism the day he got out of rehab and I had to walk away from him.
I have 21+ years clean/sober now, and there were days, weeks, and heck even years I thought I'd never make it, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other and doing what I needed to do for my recovery.
I've worked damned hard to get to where I am today, and I feel good about that.
