The greatest thing about the 9th step, is that the 8th step comes before it, and the 8th step says, "made a list... and
became willing to make ammends to them all". It's flat out saying that this is something we don't want to do, and something that most, if not all of us, struggle with.
The point is that we resolve to
become willing, which seems like the exact spot you're at. It's time to start addressing the willingness (or lack of). Which is pretty much exactly what you're doing in this post.
A lot of the ammends I needed to make involved paying back money to people, money I didn't have. Or at least didn't want to part with. But I wanted to be willing, and prayed for it. I prayed that when the time is right I be given whatever it is I need to proceed. In everything actually. It freaked me out when I actually made some of the ammends I had to. One that sticks out most in my memory was with a dude I owed $100 to for about 5 years. He lived across the street from me. I was sitting on the porch of my parent's house (he lived across the street), and I had just gotten paid from my first sober part time job. $100. I saw him, and it was as though I was possessed. I yelled his name out and told him to come over. I handed him all the cash in my pocket, thanked him, and sincerely apologized for the 5 year wait. He was dumbfounded. So was I. Felt like I was on drugs. I survived without the money, and it was one of the best $100 I ever spent. I never had to avoid that guy again, and my self esteem shot up 1000 points. I had a handful of similar experiences after that.
Point is, it's fine and normal to struggle with ammends. Be willing, and if you have faith in a higher power ask for help. The job will eventually get done.