How to stay strong?
Back again, friends, thanks in advance for listening...
So AH is back in rehab, (miraculously) re-admitted after walking out 2 days ago and discovering I wouldn't pick him up. Now he's calling, and I feel like he's trying to manipulate me still more...into promising I'll take him back, into believing he's changed before he has shown any change, into committing myself without seeing a similar commitment from him. I love the guy, I'm not expecting him to change the distorted habits of a quarter-century of addiction in 2 days, but I can feel the anxiety crank up every time he calls. I tell him I'm biding my time, seeing how the situation unfolds, not making any decisions until circumstances require it. I tell him I love him but that by itself isn't enough to build a shared life. I tell him he needs to focus on his sobriety first, that I'm happy to wait and work on myself until the next step becomes clear. He's obviously not happy with that. I don't want to stop all telephone contact since it means a lot to both of us...any suggestions on how to keep those precious few minutes devoted to something other than the same old same old?