Originally Posted by
EnglishGarden 
I am not an addict but my understanding is that the addict has a profoundly emotional relationship with the drug, the addict is deeply, lovingly bonded to the drug and to spending time with the drug and pursuing the drug and thinking about the drug and fondling the drug and embracing it with intense transcendent feelings of love.
Your bf loves his intimate drug experience with all his heart. He has emergency props on hand so he can immerse himself in his drug and maybe not die. But he is willing to die for it.
I think he is probably not willing to die for you. My understanding of addiction is that while in the disease the addict will sacrifice everyone, but not the drug.
What usually breaks up a love relationship is abuse. Painful, ongoing, shredding abuse.
So when the drug starts abusing the addict, when the high is gone and the devil has taken over, that is when the addict tries to break up with the drug.
When we enable the addict, we support that love relationship the addict has with the drug.
You were right to call 911. I would have done the same.
But changing his bonded, deeply emotional love for the drug, that you will not be able to do.
Place his destiny and yours in God's hands. Get well. The stories of your lives are still unfolding.
Hi English….
Your bf loves his intimate drug experience with all his heart. He has emergency props on hand so he can immerse himself in his drug and maybe not die. But he is willing to die for it.
That’s exactly why I said – who does that? A person isn’t rational or reasonable with a thought process like this; that’s why I get confused by the discussion on consequences.
I understand about the concept of making it easy for the addict to continue using by enabling; easing their consequences…. If they don’t suffer to some extent then why should they stop?
And your comments on this really hit home:
So when the drug starts abusing the addict, when the high is gone and the devil has taken over, that is when the addict tries to break up with the drug.
Because that is basically what my BF said made him quit. He realized the devil had taken over; and he was going to die. In the end; he was shooting the coke and odds were even the emergency props wouldn’t work to stop an OD because of how quickly it hit you. So when he realized he was addicted to not just the drugs, but the art of shooting the maximum amount while avoiding an OD; something clicked.
Regardless of what his dad did; I don’t think his pattern would have changed; until he heard that click.
But I still can’t say his dad was wrong in what he did to help him. I don’t think I’ve personally ever done anything to enable him; except for the night he OD’d – I did remove all the drugs before EMS came, because I had never called EMS before and I really didn’t know what they would do if they found drugs there; and yes I wanted to protect him . So clearly that is enabling.
What usually breaks up a love relationship is abuse. Painful, ongoing, shredding abuse.
I’m realizing this more and more as I stay on the forum and listen…….
Thank you for sharing your insight.
Kel