But what I meant about his dad was that while his actions didnt stop BF from using; they did preserve parts of his life; left them untouched by this addiction so to speak. For example, BF had a house - you dont walk away from a house for over a year without paying your mortgage, and your taxes etc. His dad did that. Now BF still has a house... granted its in another state... but its still there.
BF got picked up for something with the drugs; but with his dads help; no charges were filed; so now he has no criminal record. Not to mention that with his profession he cant have any felonies; or he loses his license. So now he can still work. He worked for his dad; so he did get his salary cut off, but he still had health insurance... dont think he even knew that however. When BF ran out of cash, he used cash advances on his credit cards to get $, but who kept paying the credit card bills? Dad. I have to say he did this in part to try to locate his son, but that never actually worked out... but I honestly fear what BF might have done to get $ had he not had access.
I was this person with my oldest daughter. I thought I needed to keep things safe for when she was ready to grow up...I didn't realize at the time that I was keeping her from growing up...the person "learning the lessons" was me, not her. When she finally had to face consequences, the discomfort drove her to figure out what she could do to change things. As she took responsibility for her choices and made her own decisions, her self confidence blossomed, she felt in control of her own destiny and today she is living an amazing life filled abundance, laughter and love. Great stuff to see and working my own side of things helps me to stay out of it and just feel the joy in seeing the beautiful young woman she is.
A member who used to post here once talked about the consequence of her paying her daughter's debts. It raised her addicted daughter's credit score so she became eligible for more and more credit cards and more and more cash advances to buy her drugs.