An ironic thing is that for the first time ever, I perhaps have some understanding as to why he drank. He said he drank to relieve anxiety. I never really understood, because I didn't have much anxiety, and the kind that I had didn't make me feel like drinking. Ever. But now, this new, consuming sick anxiety that I feel... has me craving a drink. This worries me... I don't want to get in a habit of turning to alcohol to relieve these feelings.. but it shocks me that I have the feelings and the cravings at all. It's all so new, and I don't know how to handle it.