Originally Posted by
KelleyF 
I’m struggling to understand, how feelings could change so drastically… could I ever stand there, look at him and contemplate that it might just be best for him and me….to just let him die?
They don't change drastically. They change one tiny chip at a time. You live through one episode, whatever it may be, and when it's over you think "ok, made it through that" and you believe that it's better. Then something else happens - lather, rinse, repeat. I sincerely hope you don't ever know what it's like to honestly not know what to do - to not know whether or not you should call the cops to have your ABF arrested, or to throw your AD out of the house. Because you know what? It sucks, and it's hard, and we don't get here overnight. When you get to that point, saving them again is not going to make them magically realize "oh, perhaps I should stop doing drugs! Huh."
I have to admit, I sort of resent the implication that if we would all just stand by our man, and believe really, really hard, everything would be better. I understand you're trying to think positively, and that's great, but I can't help but feel a little patronized. Not just in this post.
Which makes me realize something is going on with me, because why would I let an internet stranger make me feel bad about myself? So I better take a look and figure out what it is. So, thank you Kelley, for forcing me to take my own inventory.