I have felt the same way many times, and have finally realized that active addiction makes real love impossible. (so did my active codependence, by the way). So I'm trying to work on myself and remove the obstacles to my being a truly loving and healthy person. My AH won't be able even to figure out whether he loves me until he has been sober a while, if that ever happens (he's in rehab now and not doing all that great). And he won't be capable of true intimacy for a long time after that; his sobriety must and should come first. So I'm trying to accept the reality and focus on the many rewards that come from taking care of myself so that I can find a measure of happiness no matter what.
I wish I could hug you in person! You deserve love as true and deep as the love you give, and when the pain subsides a little, and the dark clouds start to lift, there's a world of freedom out there. You don't have to share your home or your heart with an addiction ever again.