Of course you suffered trauma Kelley. We get so used to our life of darkness and insanity it begins to feel normal. We get so used to focusing all our attention on our addicted loved ones, that we don't notice how sick we are becoming ourselves.
I had to learn this too, I had to find some way to regain my balance and replace the chaos in my life with peace. I was darn close to being the one who died. When I realized how enmeshed I had become in my son's sickness, it scared the bejeepers out of me. I needed help as much as he did and I thank God that I found a meeting where others who had been where I was, could help me find my way again.
You will be okay, but don't underestimate the damage this is doing to you. You are so worth finding a better path.
Hugs