Hey, I chuckled when I read your post. Only because you sound just like me. Almost to a T. You are so not alone.
I too drank like you, but for longer - since I was 15 and I'm 39. Often times my office is The Office. My husband is very busy with a overly stressful job and part-time college. Makes me lonely sometimes because he can't always do stuff with me and when he is at home, he's studying.
I refused AA (mainly because of the God stuff). And while I now attend a mtg once a week, I'm still not a bible thumper. But I have made a few friends from there which is awesome!
You said not to tell you to join a yoga class or do AA, but those are the things I do to maintain my sobriety and gain personal insight and confidence! I quit Jan. 1 this year. My life is sooo much better now, more calm.
I guess all I can tell you is maybe try to open your mind when it comes to suggestions, and get outside your box. Do something very different than you normally do. It worked well for me.
Originally Posted by
kellyprettybird 
I just joined this site today and I am looking for some support and clarity. I have been drinking for almost 10 years (that is so hard to admit). I have had success before with stopping drinking or controlling how much I drink, but lately it has gotten out of hand. I notice that my drinking increases as my daily stress increases. I am married to a chef, and he just opened his first restaurant 3 weeks ago (talk about stress). I am so proud of him, but I am also jealous of him and then feel guilty for being jealous (and then drink to mask the guilt). I also feel lonely because he is always working and even when he’s home, his mind is at work….which I understand…It’s a new business and I don’t think it will always be like this. But I drink…Currently, I hate my life. I can’t stand my job…not kidding, picture the T.V. show “The Office”, except with a boss that’s even more socially inept and is just an out right jerk. Just to give an example, I hired someone a few weeks ago and according to my boss I “made a mistake because she is too overweight and not pleasant to look at”. I feel stuck at my job though because I get paid extremely well. This relates to drinking because I wake up every morning with dread in my heart about going to work and to “cope” with what whatever happens at work I come home and drink. I am applying to graduate school and I’m terrified that if I don’t get in I will be stuck in this job forever. I am scared because I’m using alcohol to deal with my problems. I feel like it has gotten way out of control (I drink to the point of not remembering what happened the night before). I can’t wait for the day to end so I can go home and have “one” drink (which never ends at just one). I am scared for my mind and for my health. I would like some meaningful advice about dealing with daily stress (please don’t tell me to join a yoga class), about increasing self awareness, and about creating a meaningful life. Please do not ask me if I’m in AA and if I have a sponsor. (I’m not, I don’t and I don’t intend to).