I've heard some typical ones from my XABF.
'I'm just going out for a COUPLE of drinks with the boys. I'm not gonna get wrecked tonight'.
Of course, i don't see him until 2pm the next afternoon, totally wasted and angry for no reason.
'I don't drink every day, so i'm not an alchoholic'
*rolls eyes*
'If you made sure you cooked for me every day like a good woman should, then i will stop drinking' - bearing in mind i didn't even live with him. *Rolls eyes again*.
'I only take cocaine when i drink because it helps stop me feeling as drunk so i can continue to drink more for longer' - And this is a good thing because???
'I work harder than anyone else, and work longer hours. Therefore i can relax any way i like. If you worked as hard as i do, then you can talk to me'. - That made me laugh.
I have more but these were the most obvious ones.