I am in the same situation, kind of. My boyfriend's (or ex, I don't really know what we are right now) family does not see my sons either. His sister has been getting out of control with the harassment and the lying, and after telling him time and time again, I gave up and said none of them can see my kids. I didn't say he couldn't see them. Of course that started a fight. But then after one night of her calling me on all these blocked numbers acting like his ex (I blocked her number because I was tired of all the bs with her) he believed me because she did all this in front of his friend. Which made me mad because I had been saying this for months and he didn't believe me once. And the clincher? The phone number I blocked is HIS PHONE. She is supposed to pay him every month for it, has had it for a year, and never has. She puts pictures of my kids on facebook, I have told her time and time again not to do it, so I contacted facebook about it and they keep removing the pictures (because every time she keeps putting them back up). And then she starts on the manipulation bit. "Oh, well I can't see my nephews, that's so rude, ignorant, whatever." Now would be a good time to mention that she is a meth addict. Supposedly in recovery, but she doesn't act like it. So anyway, my boyfriend turned off her phone because he now believes me, but it's not enough for me, because she is now harassing me at my house, driving HIS CAR that she is also supposed to be paying for but never has. And I never wanted to tell him that he would have to choose between us, but it is what it has come down to. And I know he knows what she is doing to me, and I don't need my kids to see that. My whole thing is, if she hates me, I don't need to be around her. Period. And my kids don't need the influence of someone around who is going to talk bad about me and everything else and blatantly disregard what I have said about my own children. I don't need that in my life. But when I speak up about it, it causes problems.
And it gets so much worse. My boyfriend got really bad on the alcohol and pills a couple of months ago and right after Christmas I paid for plane tickets for his brothers to come out and talk some sense into him. $1100.00 worth. His sister called his dad and then called me, and he called me all kinds of names and everything else, which absolutely killed me, since I had never met the man in my entire life, because they all live in Nebraska. And then he said, but we will probably never see our grandchildren. F*** no you won't, after all that stuff you said. Which my boyfriend took offense to. And then he called him the other night and explained to him what happened. His dad said his sister said that him and his ex were still married, and he cheated on her with me and got me pregnant and they are currently still together. And that SHE was the one who paid for the plane tickets. Although my boyfriend is also a master at the art of lying, because he is also an addict, so I do not know if this is what was really said. But anyway, why would you want to hang out with someone like that?
Sorry for the long post, I have had a very trying day, and I am very upset and frustrated at this point in time. Anyway, I do think you made the right decision, and I hope your AH will stand up for you because that is what you do for your family. I hope that it doesn't come to what came with my relationship. Just explain to him that she hurt your daughter and that is absolutely 100% UNACCEPTABLE and if he doesn't agree with it, that is his problem, but you have made your decision and you are not going to back down.