Well here we go again. I posted last week about my brother coming down to live with me because he is without a home and needs to find a job where they are hiring. He was staying with my niece and they are not Seeing “ Eye to Eye” so he is coming sooner then planned; this Monday.
We are close and we used to drink together; as recent as this late fall. The family up north can’t or won’t help him and apparently they are telling him his coming down here to live with me is like adding fire too fire; they think I am still drinking. There are two reasons why they don’t know otherwise. #1. I didn’t want to tell them until I had 90 days to one year of sobriety so I didn’t have to hear the doubt in their voice or worse, have them try to run my program. #2. They will make my brother feel bad by saying he should find another place to live because I don’t need to be around booze.
He is worse off then they realize and he has sworn me to secrecy but I fear he will try to end it all if he doesn’t get a grip on things. We almost lost him once and I am not willing to risk it. I have not told him of my quitting drinking and I won’t until he gets here. Nor will I push him to quit; he will do that when he is ready. All I can do is live as an example and be there if he needs me. He has told me he wants to quit drinking and he has done it before. Once he gets away from all the drama and on his feet I believe he will do well.
I own my own home and live over 9 hours away from the family. The majority of my family are very judgmental and spend too much time with other peoples “demons and skeletons” when they need to tend to their own back yard. I was never able to obtain any length of sobriety until I got out of there. I love them but I can’t maintain any level of sanity living amongst them. Half of them are former drinkers and only one works his program, the one who usually bites his tongue and doesn’t try to work everyone else’s.
I am only 2 weeks in to my sobriety and I am wondering if anyone has any advice on what I should do that will help both my brother and I and not make him feel like I am judging him. The whole concept is to provide a safe haven where he can get well and on his feet while I remain sober. I don’t want to treat him like a dog and tell him he can’t drink in the house. He has been beaten down enough and doesn’t need that. Besides he doesn’t know I’m not drinking. If you have any advice to share with me please take both of us into your consideration. Thank you for being there for me these last 2 weeks, you have helped me more then you know!
