Originally Posted by
skippernlilg 
Bill, I remember the Island of Misfit Toys, and I also thought I belonged there!! You and I have had much of the same experience. I, too, may come across very passionately about this subject, and I wish I could apologize for my passion on this, but I just can't.
Denial never got my family anywhere. Either then or now.
Wow! The Land of Misfit Toys. I was sure that was me, and I could not fit in any where normal.
Since I was the first born, and I think my fathers "favorite" I remember a lot of stuff. Even certain smells can take me back to the days where I was terrified every single day he was home.
He kept all four of us at a distance from him and each other. It was every man for himself in my house.
I was told by more than 1 psychiatrist that I have PTSD from those spending those early developmental times in a constant state of fear. I still have trouble trusting men because so far, I have made some bad choices.
I am 52 years old, I remember being scared in playpen. So, I have a very hard time when someone says the kids dont know, or we dont argue in front of them. They know because they have not lost their capacity to FEEL the illness in the room.
Rambling, sorry...
Beth