You have echoed my feelings exactly Bill, and I thank you for the straight-forwardness of your post.
I too tend to be a bit...passionate in my assertions that when there are children in these insane situations, they need to be our first and foremost focus. I know full well how horribly terrifying it is to leave a situation where there is addiction or abuse, but then I can't help but think of the little ones, who deserve at least one happy parent and a sane and SAFE home.
Even though I left when DD was only 15 months old, I still wonder if her current behaviour is the result of the first 20 something months of her life being so tumultuous, and of course, I feel terrible guilt so not leaving when I was pregnant. I only hope that posting my story gives someone the NEWSFLASH HP granted me, which helped me get moving and get out the door.