My grandfather is an alcoholic, almost 4 years in recovery now. He drank my mother's entire childhood away, and she is very angry about it, and he is very avoidant about it, and they just don't discuss it. Things are better now than they were at one point when he was actively drinking. My mother refuses to talk about what he did to her and my grandmother and my uncle (both of them are dead now), which I guess makes me even angrier that A. I would be stupid enough to love an alcoholic because I know the damage it can cause, and B. that she seems to take my boyfriend's (ex?) side all the time, knowing that I have two children myself and they are doomed to live the same childhood she did if something doesn't change. I agree though, I can see it now in the 5 year old, he asks when daddy is coming home and why isn't he here and why is he sick and why is he in trouble and when is he going to the hospital to get better? I am starting to think I will go insane with all the questions. Children don't realize that they aren't at fault, especially when all they see is damage and destruction everywhere they look. And I will be the first to tell you, when I am screaming at my (ex) boyfriend about the drinking, I don't look to see who is listening. I guarantee my 5 year old is, every time. And it hurts me knowing I hurt him.