Hi ads62.
The strength you are looking for is actually easy to find. You can find it with HIM, GOD. If you don't know where to find HIM, then it is again easy. Read the Bible and Pray to him. At time you are depressed, HE was there. At times you felt so down, HE was there. H e was only waiting for you to call him. HE knows that you feel, your suffering, everything.
If you find HIM and the strength in HIM, no doubt that you will then be back with HIS enlightenment on you.
Take courage. Ask and you shall receive.