You can find all your previous posts by clicking on your name to the left of your post, then clicking on the blue tab that says "Find more posts by Ads62".
I don't believe the board sends you alerts when someone posts to your threads.
You have two other threads you've started; one has 15 replies and one has 95.
I wish you the best. Getting yourself to out-patient rehab would be a good idea. I did that and really benefited.