Plath,
Thank you for sharing your story with me, it makes me feel closer to you, and allows me to understand you and your situation better. I think you are very brave to take a chance on something that you fear might distance people from you. I am very proud of you.
I wish I had some answers for you, I have a huge extended family that I have just drifted away from over the years, we have lost two cousins to overdoses, and two to cancer, one to aids, all before 30, others went to prison, others still just left for other parts of the country to escape their abusive parents. Every time there is any attempt to get everyone together it just stalls out under the weight of excuses.
Our children are much closer to adopted aunts and uncles that live near us and are a big part of their everyday lives, my wife was the school nurse at our childrens school for 5 years and she has taken so many kids under her wing in that time it's like we have a huge extended family right there.
I guess what I am saying is that if your kids don't have extended family that is willing to be there for them, then your kid(s) will choose their own family, people they like and trust.
You are such a good person, you have come so far from that scared and angry teenager, please be proud of yourself and all you accomplished, if your family cannot see all the progress you have made, then they are not worth your time and energy.
Hang in there, you are doing great!