Eliasson - I get this sense that you're not really moving on. That you're stuck and trapped and that's why these cravings still grab at you.
An alcoholic can stay sober on a barstool but he's not going to be happy there. I'd like to see you get off the figurative bar stool.
Did you give any more thought to therapy? I feel like these cravings have little to do with your alcoholism, tbh.