Thank you for your honest answers. They have given me some food for thought about what my motivators truly are. And I know I have to be honest with myself in order to come to a decision. I was expecting your responses to be leaning towards not becoming involved and I understand the reason for it. What I did not expect is to have to justify why I am holding on and where I am in this process. I really just wanted to hear the other side of the story because I believe you can't make informed decisions just listening to one side. I believe that my AH is sick physically, emotionally and spiritually. The number of addiction counselors in my area that advocate for interventions or similar strategies have become the norm. Perhaps he has gotten to the point that he cannot make rational decisions on his own. It is difficult to detach completely after almost 30 years of marriage. At his point I am concerned for his health and for my adult children to be able to have their father back. Reconciling is not my top priority anymore. I am living a good life without him in the equation for the most part. He does not talk about reconciliation nor does he push for divorce. When I am ready to end it I will. I don't see an urgency to move along faster than I am comfortable.
I will continue to check in here and attend Al Anon meetings. I find that they have helped me get over other obstacles in the past and I'm sure they will continue to be a place of emotional support.