Slight Depression/Humble Optimism
I am finishing day 2 and lately have been feeling depressed. I ended a relationship with my girlfriend of 1.5 years over 2 weeks ago to figure things out with my life, and to remove myself from the temptation of alcohol. It didn't help that I went out with buddies and drank it up.
Anyways, I am definitely feeling different depression that would usually be covered up when I was with my girlfriend. I am now more alone, and exposed to my feelings. This is exactly what I wanted to happen in a way. After numerous talks with her about quitting and needing help, I felt I was more of an annoyance to her than her "lover," even though she always said she cared. She'd buy me a drink or want to go out and smoke and party, and, well I can't be around that or I give in. She was a great girl, but I had my own life to sort out.
This feeling of loneliness, depression, helplessness....is real. I don't enjoy it, but I enjoy the fact I am feeling it, realizing it, and I have to react to it. I must make this work, or the rest of my life will be a sad downplay of what could have been.