Originally Posted by
langkah 
'I've made it several times to 2 or 3 months of sobriety, and frankly those have been the best and most hopeful times of my adult life. I would feel as if anything was possible when I wasn't shackled to the bottle.'
It is amazing how incredible it feels to be 2-3 months sober. You seem to have doubts about reaching that again, even having done it a few times already.
I may be seeing something you're not saying, but why would you have doubt about stopping as you have done before and instead of drinking this time at the 3 month point simply keep it going indefinately?
Was anything different in those earlier times than now?
I wouldn't say I felt different then now, I had the same feeling of surrender. Though I'm completely resolved to quitting now, I have the horrible fear that in 3 or 4 days, or 2 or 3 months I slip right back into that hell. Once you've seen how powerful this illness is at tricking the mind you know to be very wary.
On the other hand after all those failures I now know without a shadow of a doubt what that one drink will do to me. That one drink is a guarantee beginning right back into the abyss. So here is hoping that this is the final break.