wanttobehealthy

AH took the girls to gymnastics yesterday and it was his day to spend the day with them. Fine. I did not ask when he wanted to drop them back off bc he has a cell, knows my # and after reading awesome posts last week about not over communicating or doing for others what they can do for themselves, I decided to deal with my discomfort of not having everything perfectly planned out and let it go.

So, 11 am (20 min after gymnastics ended) I start getting texts (saved all of them) telling me what a terrible mother I am for not being at my house bc he PROMISED D6 and D3 I'd be there right after gymnastics and they were now crying for me.

I responded and said that I had plans and he had them for the day and to have a good day. I also said I hoped he'd repair the damage of his promise to the girls bc without checking with me, there was no way he should have promised them anything.

Next text tells me it was my responsibility to let him know my plans for the day, where I'd be, at what times etc...

I didn't respond but continued to get this message sent in a variety of ways.

I could be wrong, but it's pretty insane that he expects me to lay out my schedule for him on a day that he has the girls and needs nothing from me. He knows my #, if there is an emergency he can reach me.

It's so obvious he wanted a way to dump the girls when he got sick of playing dad, and wants to control me.

I simply didn't respond at all and was back at my house by mid afternoon. He got in touch to find out when he could bring the girls back and I said I was home and he was here in 2 seconds flat.

It's quite sad that he spent so much of his limited time with his kids texting me, telling me how awful I was to not be available to him at all times during the day and griping that I was manipulating him by not letting him know where I was. This is the man who accused me last year of trying to "track" him with my cell phone and of trying to control him. Hmmmm, projection much?

Anyway, the texts just annoyed me a bit and it's cathartic to vent it out here and let it go... I could have ignored the messages altogether (and have before) but I wanted to be able to say "yes I am available in an emergency and he knows that". So, I am pleased with myself for responding once and then being done. In the past I would have allowed my day to be ruined and been obsessed with making my point to him. I had a great day alone yesterday and got tons of stuff done.