lillamy

WTBH, about the over-communicating: Here's one thing someone pointed out to me, and it's a pattern that I've been able to see once it was pointed out: Every time I let my guard down, accommodated him, or admitted to any kind of emotion in an e-mail, AXH advanced and asked me to do something for him.

Like when someone had screwed something up royally at AXH's work and he told me heneeded to work a weekend when he was supposed to have the kids to fix it. So he asked me if we could trade weekends.

My response should have been, "Can't take them this weekend, have plans." But instead, I said something like, "Oh man, I'm sorry you have to sweep up after someone else. I'm actually going out of town this weekend, but maybe you could call [insert people here] because they're usually happy to have the girls over?"

The next e-mail was, "Why don't you call [people] and set that up -- you know them better than I do."

All of a sudden, I was in charge of getting him set up with a baby sitter...

I hate to have to be this way, but I really have to handle my AXH like a bully. Any time I show weakness (being reasonable=weakness), he takes advantage of it. The only way to avoid that is to not give him the opportunity..

And Cyrano?
You're becoming this sage on the mountaintop in my mind -- the one who says things that are so wise and at the same time so damn obvious that you feel like an idiot for not thinking of them yourself. Thank you.