The other day I was thinking about my life and my separation from my AH and how during the first 6 months of separation, I was such a mess. Cried every day. Felt so depressed. Then gradually things got better and I felt like a whole person again (most days). On occasion now, something happens and I find myself really sad again.
I was thinking about how this all feels like I am standing on the beach at the ocean. Months ago, I was standing at the surf line with violent waves that kept crashing on and around me. I could barely keep to my feet. Then over time, the waves calmed down and became smaller and gentler. Yesterday, I had such a sad day, all the emotion of the loss of my marriage hit me hard again. I imagined myself standing on the beach, being hit with a 'sleeper' wave! I think this is part of the process, we withstand the surf and the waves diminish, but on occasion we still have to deal with the occasional rogue wave that stresses us and tries to knock us down. But in between is a great view, fresh ocean air, all that. I hope this image helps you --- it helped me to some degree.