RobbyRobot

Your post is great, and has lotsa salient points.

I suggest you shoot that horse dead. Walk away, let it rot, and don't look back. If you really want to be done, stop looking for a free ride into sobriety. Most times you'll be doing good if you can manage a painful crawl. As a matter of fact, you'll be more than lucky, you'll be changing and getting good and sober.

Its a tough journey to get all your tickets punched and get it going, but since you know it takes work as you say, and you know to put sobriety first, you're already primed into writing across your soul what your reading from that AA Big Book. Read the book. Look at yourself. Put what is there into action. Rinse and repeat.

Hey, congrats on your earned sobriety!