I've had many struggles with this topic myself. I don't consider myself "religious" I'm spiritual.
As a little kid I lived in a small town, went to church alone every Sunday, sang in the Chior.....I felt loved at church. My parents were raging alcoholics and there was every kind of abuse imaginable. Every night I would lay in bed and beg God to save me, fix my parents. And I felt this warmth inside, I can't explain it.
At 9 I had a solo in the church X-mas pagent. My bro was home from the Air Force, my sis came to town, I was so proud up on that stage seeing my siblings setting there proudly watching. Then in "walks" my mom.....stumbles actually, ended up in a face plant in the middle of the santuary, the pastor helped her to her feet and escorted her out, my bro and sis in tow.....nobody saw my solo, but the whole little town saw one of my many secrets.
I never went to church again. I turned my back on God that day. I was lost for many years, at 14 I started on a path of self destruction. Drugs, drinking, risky behavior, casual sex.
I didn't find God again until the day I looked my newborn little girl in the face. How could I possibly doubt a God that sent me one of his angels.
I don't go to church, I don't read the bible, but I feel God. I have a faith that is indescribable. I trust in God to take care of me and he has.
I've been through hell, but I don't doubt God. I'm thankful it was me that went thru it, I came out ok. Someone else living my life may have used the terrible circumstances as a crutch or excuse to be a predator or victim and go on to damage more innocent children. My siblings for example, one's a drunk and one is now sober but blames everyting wrong in his life on my parents. Their kids are a mess with drugs and whatnot....prepetuating the cycle. I hold myself to a very high standard. My daughter often brags about what a dream her childhood was. That is honoring God for me.
I think alot of life is just perspective. I could be pissed I had a ****** childhood. I could be angry at God. I could resent the struggles I have to go thru. But it's all about perspective....I could curse God that my mom has terminal cancer and won't see next Christmas. But instead I thank God for his blessing that I got to borrow her for 75 years. I could curse God for giving me parents that were sick and lost. But I thank God that now I am strong and not afraid to face any challenge in my life, I survived my childhood, anything else will be a breeze.
Thank you God. I am TRUELY blessed. And so relieved I found my way back home.