I didn't bail on the alcoholic in my life, but after 15 years of dealing with her addiction...well, lets just say that I was as sick as she was.
Almost two years after we both found our bottoms, I'm happy to have the opportunity to be spending the second half of my life with a woman who is basically a pretty great person.
But I'm lucky. If the dice had rolled just a little differently I could be bankrupt, out of a job, my wife could have relapsed...or died. And that's what does happen to many, many of the people in my shoes, and hers. And I say "could have relapsed," but believe me when I say that relapse is always a possibility.
Even though I consider myself a grateful member of Al-Anon, because without this disease I wouldn't be on the path I feel very fortunate to find myself on, I wouldn't wish the last 5 years of my life on my worst enemy. And if I were an actively drinking alcoholic, I wouldn't ask my friends to come along for the ride. That's just not my definition of friendship.
You said that you feel like your friends are pushing you toward, someday, eventually, kinda, sorta stopping drinking. It's my experience and it's my firm belief that that's bullsh*t. They may not know it yet, but they are powerless over your addiction. They absolutely cannot control or cure your addiction. Guilt-tripping them into sticking with you while you continue to drink, because that "helps" you is pure ego-centered selfishness.
If you really want "help," then man up and stand up in one of those AA meetings you go to and tell them "I really want to stop drinking and I can't afford rehab...can somebody please help me?" Reach out your hand, and trust me, you'll find that people who aren't your friends and who don't even know you are ready to reach out and help you pull yourself up.
For what it's worth, I suspect that (like my wife) you are probably a pretty great person. I hope that you do find the courage to change your life. And it takes courage. Good luck on your journey.