For some reason, I can't post "thank yous" atm. But thank you I do--each one of you.
Heartbroken hit it: I need to find the line between monitoring and invasion of privacy. And I gotta start trusting myself as a mother. I think Al-Anon will help with that.
I'm not going to read his texts anymore. If he starts using again, I will know soon enough. Because of this thread, I truly "get" that there is nothing I can do to keep him clean, or cause him to use. Apart from holding him to house rules, I am going to back off and let god do his thing. My son has a god, and it isn't me.
Today, I found a temporary sponsor at Al-Alnon. She shared good things. My Higher Power gave me a gift today.
Thank you again, all.